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Romance and Rejection


Mike is a single, talented but broke composer in his thirties. All he really wants is a beautiful sensitive woman. All he has is a list of failed relationships big enough to fill a concert hall. All he's got to offer are re-heated take-aways, unpaid bills and a damp bed. Tony, his struggling artist friend, has similar problems. His relationship with Moira has been on and off more times than a light switch.

Moira believes Mike's failures are due to his insecurity. It's true, he does have a tendency to get jealous even when a girlfriend shows more attention to his cat. Moira's theory is that his insecurity stems from his childhood and the fact that his mother left home when he was very young.

Mike's father is a raving alcoholic and a frustrated writer. He doesn't concern himself with the latter of these two passions because he believes that all writing today is second rate, contrived and written by sober wimps. He feels the only way he'll ever be able to write again is if he finds Mike's mother.

When a clairvoyant tells Mike he'll cure his feelings of insecurity by talking to his mother, Mike joins his father in the hunt for her. Mike's father tells him that there's only one thing that makes life worth living - 'the empress'. The definition of 'the empress' is perfect sex that goes on for days with a woman so beautiful you could cry. Does she exist? She's as elusive as alcohol in Abu-Dhabi. And anyway, for Mike, 'the empress' is love that lasts forever and not sex that lasts for days.

In his search for the perfect partner, Mike explores the party circuit and singles scene and falls in and out of relationships. In the meantime, his biological clock is ticking away as he has to come to terms with his lack of confidence, meeting his mother again and drunken panic attacks. The question on Mike's lips is a universal one: does true love exist, and if so, does anyone have its number?


Type of film
Running Time
92 mins
Kevin Smith
Michael Guest
Executive Producer
Michael Guest
Director of Photography
Ian Salvage
Principal Cast
Reece Dinsdale, Victoria Smurfit, John Hannah and Clara Bellar
Screen Writer
Kevin Smith


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Last updated 26th November 2005

Production Company

Meltemi Entertainment
10 Soho Square
London W1
Tel: 020 7287 6393
Fax: 020 7287 6878


Victor Film Co Ltd
39/43 Brewer Street
London W1R 3FD
Tel: 020 7494 4477
Fax: 020 7494 4488
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